control freak

I am a control freak. I know, I know, you would have never guessed! Giving up control of things has been a hard lesson for me to learn. Being out of control makes me angry, anxious, helpless, and panicky. These are strong emotions to carry around, and can wear a person down. God has a way of stopping us when we allow these feelings to get out of control, and for me, it's never pleasant!
Right now, I am freaking because our house hasn't sold, we don't know where our new ministry will be or when we might know, money is way too tight, gas is way too high, and this apartment way too small. I feel like the walls are closing in on me and there is no escaping. So today, in the midst of my mini-meltdown about the trivial over which I have NO control, God stopped me. As most of you know, I have been following the story of Gunner, who is a seven year old with a brain tumor. How out of control must his parents feel? Anyway, I checked his caringbridge site, and there was his little picture pre-diagnosis. It struck me in a way like never before. As I sit here, with no true complaints yet whining about nothing, this little boy fights for his life. A fight that, barring a miracle, he will lose. Sobering!!
So, in my quest to be closer to God, I was reminded today that this life is really not that important. What I do with my life is what is really important. Who do I serve? Who have I helped today? Who have I encouraged today? These are the things of importance to God, and they should be to me. So, I failed God's test today, but I learned something. I need to stop and remember that He is in control, and I don't have to sweat the small stuff.
Theme for the day: "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me," Galatians 2:20