My life's goal

I have been a christian for a long time. However, it has only been in the past few years that I have realized how deeply my relationship with Jesus can go and how far I have to go to get there. This is my life's goal. I know that going deeper with my relationship with God, will reflect in every relationship in my life. The Bible says this in Phillippians 3:10, "My determined purpose is that I may know Him-that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly."
As we have searched over the past six months for a church to attend, I have observed how others treat visitors in their church, and more importantly for me, how the pastor's wife treats the people in the church. Honestly, I always, always, always felt like I wasn't doing enough for our church or I wasn't doing it right. As I have watched, I have been shocked to realize just how much I put myself out there in our church. Maybe that's why I got so hurt or why the people there had the ability to hurt my children, because I made myself and my kids a readily available target. Needless to say, I have learned a lot about myself and what I will do differently next time.
What, you ask, does this have to do with anything? Well, my life's purpose is ministry. In order to do that ministry, I must continue to reach for that deeper relationship with God, and I must seek Him out when I don't know where to turn. I must take my rest in Him. God loves me. DID YOU HEAR ME?? God loves me!! What a joyous thought! All I have to do is simply rest in Him, the most beautiful relationship that He allows me to have.
I long to enter into His rest. I know that He rejoices over me because He loves me. I hope and pray that you will come with me on this journey as I plunge into this intimacy with my savior.